Thursday, July 13, 2006

Argentina and Anorexia

What the fuck is going on with the world today? This shit is out of control. I'm flipping through a copy of AdBusters magazine and within the first 3 pages there's a story about the out of control obsession that apparently the whole country of Argentina has with body image and thin women. According to AdBusters, Argentina is second in the world only to Japan for out of control anorexia and bulimia rates. Japan?? Seriously? Wow. Where the hell have I been?

Oh, hold onto your size 000 pants, sisters, cuz it gets worse!! The article actually reveals that there are so many high-end snotty ass clothing stores in Argentina which refuse to sell anything above a woman's size 6 US that the government is now enforcing $100, 000 fines on businesses that won't sell or produce clothing that is over a size 6. It has actually become a legitimate law. What made me almost puke on myself was the quote they had nabbed straight from Karl Lagerfeld's mouth, who told The Telegraph that he designs fashions "for slim, slender people", because "those who are undisciplined become fat. There is something distasteful about their inability to control themselves. To be thin takes control and rigor". Control and rigor? Are you shitting me? Has this guy lost his fucking mind? What is this, a Nazi regime? For christ's sake, the guy sounds like Hitler, lecturing to the masses of women out there who might be eating a slice of four-cheese pizza, and actually ENJOYING IT, that they are "undisciplined" and apparently not worthy of wearing his clothing.

I looked this guy up online, and I've also seen photos of him in The Vancouver Sun, and he looks like a fucking Oompa Loompa. In fact, he looks like the Face of Death to the world of female pleasure and self-esteem, the Embodiment of the Utter and Total Loss of Any Sanity or Realistic Attitude towards the rest of the world, particularly females. His clothes make him look like he just stepped out a bad episode of a shitty cartoon rendition of the movie The Matrix. Who the fuck is this guy to tell me I have no self-control and that I'm too fuckin fat to wear his clothes? Yo buddy, you're ugly, and just because you haven't been laid since the bicentennial doesn't give you the right to make women the world over feel like shit about themselves. AND when the fuck did it become socially acceptable to call women who are larger than a size six "fat" in PUBLIC? I mean, people hint at it, gossip about it, talk about it, and so on and so forth, but for someone to come out and actually say what Karl Lagerfeld had the nerve to say, to a source of mass media, is the first of its kind, as far as I know personally. Which is why it struck me as basically a Declaration of War between the world of fashion and misogyny (they go hand in hand of course) and the rest of us normal women out here, who don't give a fuck about Karl Lagerfeld's clothing, but do give a fuck about his arrogant and misogynistic preachings that make us all wanna hit him over the head with a two-by-four.

What is really happening here is this: We are seeing, for the first time, the slow-motion reveal of the ugly Quasimodo face of the fashion industry as its mask is subtly slid off for all the world to see, the slimy, textured truth hidden beneath all of its glamourous MAC makeup, its grotesquely sickening stench covered up by Clinique Happy! perfume, eau du toilette, don't forget! Well, the mask is wearing off and so is the scent, thanks to gems like Karl Lagerfeld. Let's make this very clear, ladies: his statement is not about fashion in any way. He is essentially admitting to something we've always known, but that the world of fashion has never wanted to openly admit before, and that is this: The fashion industry is not about clothing. The fashion industry is about controlling the minds of people, particularly women, and making them feel as awful about themselves as possible in order to make them more vulnerable to feel-good advertising and bull-shit promotion, which equals money, money, money for those on the top of the food chain (or should I say starvation chain?). Fashion is not about appearances anymore, and girls, beauty ain't coming from the inside now. We are openly being molded into beings, not just on the outside with clothes and jewelry and over-priced cosmetics, but ON THE INSIDE. ON THE INSIDE!! Can anyone hear me!? My personality, who I am, whether or not I have worth as a human being, whether or not I am self-disciplined is now entirely decided by whether or not I wear a size fucking 6. And the grossest part is, THEY'RE OPENLY ADMITTING TO IT. They have so many women so brainwashed and empty that they don't even need to hide it anymore. What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On. Here. **WARNING** WARNING** HIT THE EJECT BUTTON NOW! GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU CAN! Basically, Kaptain Karl Lagerfeld is helming the Great Ship Soul Moulder, and we need to be that big, giant SIZE 12 iceberg, that tears the fuck out of his bow and sinks his asshole Nazi fashion regime.

Sometimes I am so utterly disgusted by the world and its ignorant inhabitants that I feel that there is just no disgust left in me to dispense upon these brainwashed and brainwashing motherfuckers. Which brings me to my next question.....stay tuned....

First Vial of Truth

So here we are. Blogging. Something I swore I would never do. And that's because I thought, and still do to a large degree, that blogging is a somewhat narcissistic waste of time, since a lot of people blogging out there are just wasting space talking about what they ate for breakfast or quoting song lyrics to share with all the rest of us the even more compelling experience of their little heart breaking over some boy or girl or what have you. Not only that, but it pisses me off that so many people seem to think their life is so important they need to advertise and discuss it on the "information super highway" (dorky), so everyone can know all about them. Plus, blogging is just way too trendy for me. I'm not that hip. I don't like sushi, I don't do Photoshop, I don't own a digital camera, and I don't send people endless streams of photos of myself and my other cool friends, drunk as hell at some random bar.

Either way, here I am. Call me a fuckin hypocrit, that's ok. But really, this blog is motivated by a desire to not necessarily have anything particularly important to say, and yet at the same time, address some certain topics that are in fact pretty important. Like...the lost concept of 3rd wave feminism. And also to rant and bitch about things that I think a lot of people can relate to. No mundane details about my life, no stories about Rice Krispies or ex-boyfriends. Just straight up top-of-the-head truth serum. A perfect reflection of my super dorky, contradictory, and brutally honest personality. Enjoy.